gethinblake:

so many of my friends are queer that i genuinely forget that the majority of the population isn’t on a regular basis

burdenedwithgloriousassbutt:

takanobaka:

Why say “ding dong you are wrong” when you could say “eggs and bacon you’re mistaken”

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pishposhspice:

my roommate is 2 days younger than me so i’ve gotten into the habit of saying “when i was your age..” and then describing what i did 2 days ago

manicpixiedreamalien:

floozys:

vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”

I once pointed this out to some boys and they said I didn’t understand how vaginas worked.

malkiewicz:

Synonyms are weird because if you invite someone to your cottage in the forest that just sounds nice and cozy, but if I invite you to my cabin in the woods you’re going to die.

stfueverything:

sayheyagentcarter:

TWO HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS CREATED A VIDEO GAME WHERE YOU SHOOT TAMPONS INSTEAD OF GUNS

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SPREAD THIS LIKE WILD FIRE!!!!!!!!!!! 

SISTERS DOIN’ IT FOR THEMSELVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"we’ve normalized guns and violence through video games….yet we still find tampons and menstruation unspeakable"

^^^that right there.

whathappenedtocharlotte:

theshadowsinthesun:

nycworkforce1:

Via mikenudelman:

Dress like a leader.

except FUCK YOU WOMEN CAN WEAR PANTS IF THEY WANT

*You can substitute pants (at the same level of formality/casualness) in any of these situations. 

But this is real good for reference. 

annejamison:

moonblossom:

samtarly:

my brain read “tous les mêmes” as “all the memes” instead of “all the same” and no one is surprised

I have a container of Tresseme hair gel that says “TRES GEL”, and my brain always parses it as some French variation of the Doge meme.

TRES GEL. BEAUCOUP HOLD. LE WOW.

plus ça change, plus c’est la même doge

gordoananke:

midnightthunders:

So… I was giving some jelly to my cat

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My phone started ringing. Forgetting that I was holding the spoon I took the phone.

I never heard the spoon hitting the floor…

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they are evolving